Life is Short. Enjoy the Ride!

Published: 2/10/2011

By Sonia Theobalds

Last year I made a Bucket List, a list of things I want to do with my family and my horses before I kick the bucket.  I have a bum knee and an arthritic leg and I just turned 50.  I'm not complaining.  I was spurred on to write out my Bucket List because one of my oldest and dearest horse friends passed away just over a year ago.
 
We have been super close for over twenty two years.  She was about to turn 54 when she died.  Today is her birthday.  When you lose a close friend it really changes your whole life.     
 
Bonnie was suddenly diagnosed with cancer and it took her quickly.  As we all do, she had been casually putting things off for several years:

  "Aah, I can't leave right now, I'll go to the Equine Affaire next year"

 "Ooh, I'll ride that trail in the spring"

"We should go there with the horses someday"
 
Someday never came for Bonnie.  Suddenly, she felt ill and her whole life was ripped from her grasp.  It was traumatic enough that she was told she had so little time left to live, but the saddest part was that for the last few months of her life she felt extremely regretful she didn't do the things she kept saying she would do with her family and her horses all those years.  Her life revolved around both but she told me, in those last few weeks, she always got caught up in other menial things and hadn't MADE the time.
 
When I would go to big events, I would call her; she loved to feel the energy of the crowd through my cell 'phone.  We'd giggle over the roar of the people in the background because she wanted to be there so much.  She always said, "I'll be there next year".
 
The day Bonnie called me and told me she was terminally ill, with only weeks to live, we had a long cry and then we made a pact.  I promised her I would get my butt in gear and go places for both of us.  I'd been putting things off too.  I am not good at stretching out of my comfort zone.  But suddenly I started realizing, yikes, all those excuses we make:

- it's too hot
- it's too cold
- it's too windy
- I'm too tired
- the horse is too frisky
- the deer flies are out
- it's too icy/snowy/muddy
- I'm nervous
- blahblahblah, etc.
 
Too many reasons not to LIVE.
 
Writing a Bucket List made me stay on track.
 
So I got my butt in gear last year.  First of all, it felt good eliminating all the stuff that made me stressed.  Saying NO to things that put pressure on me eased my anxiety.  Then I put pen to paper and started writing down the Bucket List.  What would you do if you only had one year or less to live?  It is a mind-blowing experience.
 
I found a comfort zone I could deal with.  I joined ACTHA and went on several of their rides.  My family and I also hosted an ACTHA ride at our farm.  At every opportunity, I rode and worked with my horses.  Why have 'em if you don't use 'em and enjoy 'em?  We broadened our horizons.  We trained with my hero Lige Moore, we went to his farm and learned how to work cows, we attended several clinics, we went off for horse-camping weekends away.  Our family and the horses went several times to our favorite place, Popham Beach, to let the horses "romp and roll".  My daughter and I rode for hours on the sand.  For decades, there has been a book inside of me, so I began to write it down.  Thanks to my husband who made it possible, I went with friends to The World Equestrian Games in Kentucky and had the time of my life.  Last year, I rode my two horses every chance I got from frost to freeze and realized, by the time the snow started to fly, that I had ridden more miles in 2010 than I had those Summers when I was a teenager.  It's that Bucket List thing.    
 
Some days I felt guilty for not working or for not doing the housework.  But then, I get over it.
Because, after all, that's what The Bucket List is all about.  It's a list of what you want to do before you can't do it.
I got back to the work and the housework.
I am sure you have heard this somewhere before, but you only have ONE LIFE.
 
I am so grateful to have had the opportunities I have had and I thank my family and friends for supporting me.
And, as this New Year of 2011 embraces us, I hope you will take an hour and tap out on your keyboard your own Bucket List.
 
Get out there. Explore. Enjoy.  Spend that extra hour brushing your horse and breathing in his peaceful energy.
And, while you are embracing those soft sighs and silent moments, say a prayer for someone who can't be here to do that.
We all have the opportunity.  Don't wait.  Don't put it off.
 
The next time I go to the beach, I am going to breathe in deeply and be really brave and canter with my horse in the sand like Bonnie and I did when we were younger and braver and clinked stirrups every chance we got. 
And if you see me planted face first in the surf, please know that I was smiling when I hit the dirt 'cuz I crossed that challenge off my Bucket List.
 

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